Wednesday, December 31, 2014
It has been a hot minute since I've blogged in any capacity. And this past year has been one filled with scale struggles. I started off just feeling awful about how I looked and how I felt. I wanted to revamp my diet. I know this is where I lack. I can workout for as long as I want, but then when I come home and eat pizza that ruins anything I've done at the gym. Balance. I lack it. I want it. I felt like I needed to start counting calories. So I did that, but then by the evening I was over logging everything I ate. Finally, in May I met with the dietitian at my gym. I consider her my food therapist. I had been researching all of these different ways to lose weight. and one was called if it fits your macros. SO.MUCH.WORK. I want something simple. I am ok with tracking and counting calories, but I need simplicity. Anything beyond that leads me to feel guilt and like its a chore. Being healthy is work, but it doesn't need to be nearly as hard as we make it. My year has been up and down on the scale. Until I stopped caring and stopped weighing myself. Then I got the bright idea that I needed to check in with the old scale. It was not pretty. In fact, I as up 10 lbs from the summer. Ugh. However, I didn't feel the defeat and guilt I normally would have. I decided that I can't go on this way. I NEED to make changes. That next week I was at the zoo walking in my fat pants that are tight when the zipper popped open. Ugh, then I felt the defeat and sadness. I did this to myself. I need to make changes. I found myself pulling out old MATERNITY sweat pants and lounging in them all night long. It was horrible. I called my best friend and we had a long talk. She recently lost a good chunk of weight herself. Her secret? It wasn't that hard. She made herself more aware of eating low cal foods and cutting back portions. I need to do that. So, starting tomorrow, that's what is going to happen. I've been losely working on it so far, but I need to make some BIG changes. if I don't my weight will become really out of control and before I know it, well, it won't be pretty. My plan: My childhood friends, my mom and I are starting our own weight loss support group. Think weight watchers, only we're not counting points. We'er making changes! I feel like for the last 8 years I've done nothing but bitch about my weight. I can't anymore. I want to just cut portions, watch calories and LOSE. I want to be a big OLE LOSER!!! On Monday I'll take my before pics, weight and measurements Ugh. Nothing worse than having to tell your mom what you weigh! But it has to happen. It just does! Here's to 2015!